Coach Keren

    There’s a common story in today’s society: We work too hard, and most of us are not happy – not even if you are a “superstar.”

    In a poll I conducted with 1,000 people who earned over $250 K per year, are married for a long period of time and who have high level careers, 53% said they are unhappy at work, burned out and experiencing dissatisfaction / anxiety in their personal life, including successful entrepreneurs and C-suite execs.

    The good news? Identifying the root causes and areas in which self-sabotage is happening helps to “rebuild” a life that DOES feel good. To this end, I have found four principal ways in which superstars hinder their own performance at work and in life. Take this quiz to find out which one is blocking your success.

    Are you very results oriented?
    Yes, and I am constantly measuring my results like my weight and my bank account and my caloric intake to stay “on track.”
    Yes. I have to see tangible results to believe and gauge success. Is there any other way?
    No. The journey often reveals many intangibles and joy that are part of the success.
    Yes and in fact, I am productivity obsessed. There is not a goal I cannot conquer!

    Correct!

    Wrong!

    Are your results in life meeting your expectations?
    No. It is never quite enough.
    No. My desire is massive and outpaces me usually because my goals are not like a regular person’s.
    Yes. I am happy with what I have and eager for the next idea. It’s all fun.
    No. Resting on laurels doesn’t exist. The second I meet my own expectations I come up with a new goal and more things to put on the to do list.

    Correct!

    Wrong!

    Be honest: how do you internally react when you make a mistake?
    I feel shame, worry and anxiety and immediately (even frantically work to fix it).
    I don’t usually make mistakes but when I do, it’s awful, unacceptable and I understand that I have to pay the consequences. Others do and they should pay the consequences.
    I am most often pretty chill, even about mistakes or this idea of failure against a goal or ambition. Even though I don’t like the initial feeling that something may have “gone wrong,” I am usually quite proactive and find appreciation for the mistake as it informs me on where I can improve.
    After feeling defeat and disappointment, I usually respond by getting right back to work. This time – I will work even harder. The harder I work, the more likely I am to figure this out.

    Correct!

    Wrong!

    Do you put on pretenseslike sometimes name dropping, lying occasionally to impress peers, or trying look like you have it all together in person and on social media? *(Go on, answer truthfully. No one will see your results to this quiz but YOU).
    I don’t, but I do withdraw when I feel I am falling short, or I lash out by criticizing others for how they fall short which is a form of putting on pretenses because deep down, I myself feel I am falling short.
    I do. On occasion, but I do. Fake it till you make it, right?
    Sometimes, I still feel like I need to measure up but I have found that it is better in those moments to muster up the courage to be honest about my struggles, about areas in which I have not figured everything out yet and to ask for help.
    Yes. Especially important to me is to look successful, meaning productive and busy. These are my core identities.

    Correct!

    Wrong!

    Do you ever worry that you are in some way not good enough or not measuring up – that you have some flaw so horrible or some shortcoming so hindering, that if anyone saw it, they’d take advantage of you or reject you? For example: you don’t really have that much money. Or you aren’t really that smart. Or you need to lose 15 lbs before people respond to you as you would like – which is when you will be good enough or appropriate?
    Yes, and that is why I am constantly working to beat the odds and keep it together.
    No, I am perfect and wherever I am, this is how I am. Other people can just deal with it or not.
    No, I am perfect and wherever I am, this is how I am. Other people can just deal with it or not.
    Yes, but I can work on it. I am confident all I need to do is make good choices and keep working and I will close those gaps.

    Correct!

    Wrong!

    Are you or have you ever been called a People Pleaser? (it’s ok. Oprah has, too).
    Yes, but it’s weird: though I live to serve others, I still get accused of being selfish, with more and more demands and strains being put on my already overwhelmed plate as a result.
    No. I have been called the opposite: difficult. Which I found droll.
    Yes, in a former state, I was a people pleaser because I did want everyone to like me so much. Nowadays, I have learned to temper the tendency to want to win everyone over, because I know it is simply not possible.
    Yes, but I am working very hard/ almost incessantly on this. I listen to self-help tapes every day and meditate and read all the books and will leave no stone unturned until this is resolved.

    Correct!

    Wrong!

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